God vs Human Logic

Delene and I went to Robin's Doughnuts for a spur of the moment supper. I brought up the idea that Atheists appear to have good reason for what they believe. I love and like Delene, yet our conversation felt terrible and frustrating to me. I actually said that perhaps it was best of me to dump my Christianity if Atheism or anything else could explain the world better to me. Why do I feel so terrible about the whole conversation, especially that? Assuming that ideas can't have the same importance as other ideas that leaves me with either putting my human reason above my religion or my religion above my human reason. If I put my religion before anything else, I may be required to accept what I don't necessarily know to be the most true in the future. That is my personal definition of being dumb. I feel terrible for saying that, but it's my truth. If I pick reason above Christianity, then am I really treating "God" like my god? Doesn't the idea of God also require that it be more important than anything else, even my human reason? If I put my reason first, does that mean I'm no longer a Christian by the Bible's definition? That's terrible in my current perception as a Christian. In Summary, I'm left with two unsatisfactory choices!

Would it be possible that the Bible's axioms of Christianity would allow for me to put God and logic on the same level? Hmm. That would be a nicer alternative. But alas, it doesn't. The Bible obligates Christians to not lean on human understanding. But seriously, do I, as a Christian, really need to have "blind faith?" I am just not a blind faith type of person by default. I value doing the best I can to much.

Is there anyone who has an idea of something I haven't yet thought of to fix this dilemma? Is there anyone I know whom I can talk to about it? Almost all my friends are Christians and, I'm guessing, would see me as being confused or an inferior person (yes, my ideas are part of who I am, especially when they are about my own personality) for daring to question my personal faith. On the bright side, hopefully my perception of my friends' perception is just because of what I think of myself. If this is the case, I have the power to fix that. Perhaps it would be best of me to not attach my human worth to my religion so much. If I go talk to an Atheist, I'll probably be looked down on for sure for being dumb. (Perhaps even rightly so?) In all of this, here's what I'm most sure of: It is not evil to ask questions! If it is evil to ask questions then Richard Dawkins, a smart/educated Atheist would be right: I would just be a Christian because that's what I was born into. Then if I were born into an Atheist family, I would believe in that religion. I, Samuel, don't want to just blindly go with anything. As I perceive my current Christianity to be the best religion then it would be terrible of me to never even consider it if I had been born into an Atheist family. I would like to talk with someone who doesn't care about my salvation about this. I would like to talk with someone who only cares about me being the best possible person I know how to be to myself, by my own definition, and everyone else. Is there such a person that I will run into in the near future? It would be so much easier if I didn't care about being accepted by anyone or any idea. Would that still allow me to have deep and meaningful relationships?

So here's what I'm left with: I'm going to fix this! Somehow.