Love is a Choice

Today my friend, Delene, complimented me immensely by saying that I do a good job of loving people. That's only a life goal I have been attempting to carry out for the past several years! Although I am indeed becoming more skilled in the art of love, I don't consider my current degree anywhere close to ideal. Still this raises a good question: What did I do that caused my dear friend to take notice?

It all began late one stormy winter night... Wait was it night? Was it stormy outside? Oh, that's right! My spirit was dark. It had nothing to do with the weather. Continual harassment at school, promoted by the fact I couldn't defend my self-value of which I had none, left me in a state of hurt emptiness. This emotion taught me that life without love for myself which, when honorable, naturally promotes love for others, is a terrible life to live! One, such as myself, with a naturally happy disposition, will do anything to get away from a loveless state such as this. With a desire to change, the knowhow to do so will cause it to happen sooner or later.

My knowhow to love came through an irreplaceable relationship with a very special person by the name of Cassie. I still remember first chatting with her in ZJam, a Christian chat room, years back. Her display name was Sputnik. We chatted for a while before I realized she was actually female. It was nice to become her friend without thinking of her as a "sweet mystery girl". Anyway, as we continued chatting, and after I realized she was female, my excitement over her grew... and grew and grew and grew. I encouraged her to follow her heart and ask her friend Jake to date her without even feeling that much jealous. They began dating and I continued caring about Cassie all the more. I decided that I would like and love Cassie, although I would have simply called it love at the time, indefinitely. I still do today! Implicitly, this means that I must care about Cassie no matter what her actions could possibly be in return.

Filled with a passionately caring relationship toward Cassie, who lived just far enough away that I would probably never see her, at least as it was practical for me at that age, I realized that I could love her so much without even seeing her. Perhaps this also meant that I could have a loving relationship with God, even though I couldn't tangibly see him either. Deciding that this was indeed the case, the first true excitement I felt about God fueled the passionate start of another new relationship.

I began reading the Bible a lot more. Talk about a compilation of practical lessons for life! I remember dancing each morning, happy to be alive. I realized a major life insight week after week! Cassie's favorite Bible verse, at least at the time, was I Corinthians 13:4-7 which states exactly what actions make up love according to Christianity. These include caring more about others than self, not keeping track of wrongs, delighting in truth, trusting God, putting up with anything, hoping for the best, not wanting what isn't had, and so on. Perhaps this definition of love could be applied to everyone?

Years later with a clear biblical definition of love in mind, I think I have finally figured out how to love everyone! Since the Bible's definition of love is a set of actions, one can choose to act upon them or to act differently. Again, one can choose to be responsible for treating others with kindness and respect or to treat others indecently. Everyone has a choice! One has a choice when annoyed as to handling the situation in a positive or negative way. If one can only think of a negative way at a given time, one also has the option to wait and deal with another in a more appropriate way after thinking things through. The choice to love a person doesn't come from anyone else, besides one's self. Therefore, if someone treats one rudely, love can still be selected to be returned! Love can be an invincible action to those who really want it to be.