The Environment of Response

Trevor, a high-school friend, once suggested that without a response to an argument provoking statement, one would simply find it hard to argue. Consider two people living together where no agreement of one directing the other's actions has taken place. One day, the garbage can becomes full and one of the roommates commands the other to take it out. Having committed to no agreement in this regard, the receiver of the command indignantly replies "No! If you want to take out the garbage, do it yourself." Pause! At this point our roommates find themselves at opposite ends of "what should be done." Each roommate may very well dig in his or her heels and argue against the attack seen coming from the other. So what does replying to this flame bait finally get each of our roommates? Nothing! In fact, it cements both in their respective views all the more, making it harder to come to an agreement and, if either feels self-justified in what he or she said, the other person look bad.

Considering this dilemma, I realized making a statement or suggestion sets up an environment in one's mind that any reply must travel through. In the example above, even if the indignation was justified, a fact remains: The solid no answer still traveled through the environment setup by the commanding roommate; an environment where fulfillment of the command was the only valid result. By sending a different answer through the environment to the commander of that environment, both the environment and the commander were insulted. Boom! The commander is now in a position to disagree with the answer and argue in favor of keeping the original environment. Worst of all, the responder has already began the process of arguing and, therefore, looking bad to the commander.

Not to worry! Understanding and being able to identify this type of situation is the hard part. Perhaps, our commander in the situation above commands something else on a later occasion. Another environment of required obedience is immediately setup. However, this time there is no responder. He or she simply walked away or stood by quietly. The listener decided to put aside his or her ego during the initial moments of the command and, most importantly, reject the flame bait. In the aftermath, the listener's ego has been greatly strengthened in knowing that his or her self-respect has remained with self-control in the new situation. Realizing this makes providing no answer, or better yet, exposing the hostile environment so that some real agreement can be arrived at thoroughly worthwhile.

If one decides against responding in a hostile environment, when should a response be giving? A response is best received when it's explicitly asked for without implied judgment. In both situations above, the commander expressed no desire to know what the other person thought. In these cases, the safest approach the receiver could take in protecting his or her self-respect is to simply state an unwillingness to participate in an environment that doesn't allow each person's views to be openly discussed.

Before responding to the next high-impact statement one is faced with, perhaps it's best to consider the explicit environment one is responding in and attempt to improve it.

Jonah

Jehovah illustrated how little sense it makes for one to complain about the lack of something that he or she didn't work to create or maintain through the biblical narrative of Jonah.

Our story begins with Jonah, son of Amittai, being called by Jehovah to travel to the city of Nineveh and warn the people there of their impending doom. The people from Nineveh were committing sins to a great magnitude and God could no longer ignore their insolence. With that, Jonah sailed for Tarshish, which was in the opposite direction of Nineveh. Of coarse this was a big no-no and a fierce storm erupted during the voyage. The sailors threw over all the excess cargo in an attempt to keep the boat floating. The situation only became worse and they decided to figure out who had sinned against his or her god. Sure enough, drawing straws revealed Jonah as the guilty one. Coincidence? I think not! Jonah explained that he was running away from God and that the storm would evaporate upon throwing him over. They threw Jonah overboard and the storm subsided. Finally Jonah made the right choice! As a bonus, the sailors worshipped and made vows to God when they realized that he was in control of the environment!

It must have seemed like the end for Jonah as the water closed in around him. But it wasn't! A giant fish swallowed Jonah. Jehovah kept Jonah safe for three days and nights inside the fish until Jonah finally prayed to God. Jonah thanked Jehovah for saving him from a watery grave, exalted him, and said that he would finally fulfill God's command. With that, the fish spit Jonah out on a shore and Jonah headed straight for Nineveh. It's not every day that a fellow traveler could tell another that he or she had just spent three days and nights alive in a giant fish after nearly drowning, but Jonah could have. Bringing bad news to a city is uncomfortable enough, but that totally owns! Jehovah certainly isn't a god of comfort and convenience!

Arriving in Nineveh, Jonah proclaimed the people's impending doom. It must have taken Jonah some time because the diameter of the city was a three day walk! Upon hearing Jonah's message from Jehovah, the people believed him and immediately mourned in repentance. Even the king included himself! Like Jonah had already apparently thought, Jehovah relented on the city's judgment because of the people's change in heart!

Jonah sulked off to the East country side near the city and waited to see if anything would happen. During the night a broad-leafed tree grew up. Impressive! God could certainly make plants grow fast for his purposes. It provided some much appreciated shade for Jonah during the next day. God had also sent a worm, which chewed through the tree. In another day it withered and died. On top of that, a hot wind came from the east. Jonah became faint and started wishing that he were dead. There is no wonder that my friend suggested that Jonah must have really been emotionally unstable.

At the end of the biblical narrative of Jonah, God asked Jonah why he was upset over his grace which saved the city and the worm that destroyed the tree, when, in both situations, Jonah had done nothing to create or maintain either. What annoys you that you honestly have no ownership in?

Daniel

The book of Daniel has two major parts. The first is the story of Daniel, renamed Belteshazzar by King Nebechanezzer, and his adventures in the royal service. The second part is a prophecy concerning the wars of the kings of Greece sorrounding Daniel's time. Following is a discussion of the first part.

Because of Israel's repeated disloyalty to Jehovah, they were overtaken by the Babylonian king, Nebechanezzer. It is under this premise that we meet Daniel, an up and coming star who was clearly filled with God's power. He along with his friends, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, were taken into training for King Nebechanezzer's royal service. Daniel and his friends grew exceedingly wise on a diet of only vegetables and water. When Belteshazzar finally met them, they impressed him more than any of their peers. The king renamed Daniel as Belteshazzar, Hananiah as Shadrach, Mishael as Meshach, and Azariah as Abednego.

One day, King Nebechanezzer had a troublesome dream. He decided that his magicians should interpret it without being told what it was. Their knowledge of the king's dream in the first place would act like a proof that their interpretation of it was also genuine. Of coarse the magicians couldn't interpret it and they even let the king know strait up. The king got mad and declared that all of his magicians and wise men were to be put to death on a certain day unless they could recall and then interpret the dream. Sadly, this included Daniel and his friends! After asking for Jehovah's help, Daniel told the king his dream and what it meant, without first being told what the dream actually was. Daniel was elevated for the interpretation and the king honored him greatly.

On another occasion, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were made to stand in front of the king's statue of a false god. No pressure. Then the king commanded everyone there, including Daniel's three friends, to bow down and worship his new god at the band's sound. Fearing god, Daniel's three friends refused to listen to the king's command. The king called them forward and gave them one more chance to listen. The king was enraged to find them refusing again. He ordered a furnace heated up several times hotter than normal and had them thrown in. The flames were so hot that the men who threw them in were themselves burned alive. It didn't take long for the king and those with him to see Daniel's friends walking around in the flames, invincible. There was even a fourth being, algelic like in appearance, with them in the furnace. Calling them out of the blaze, the king then declared that anyone who'd badmouth their god would be destroyed!

Having already gained the king's trust, Nebechanezzer told Daniel another dream. Daniel interpreted that a big tree in the dream was the king himself. The tree being chopped down and stunted with an iron plate simbolized the king losing his domain and being thrown out of society. However, after learning humility, the king was reinstated. He even wrote a letter to others around the world declaring the greatness of God.

Belteshazzar's son, Belshazzar, eventually succeeded him as king. Together Belshazzar and his royal friends had a drinking party. God didn't like seeing the silverware from his temple being used in such a shameful and profane manner so he sent a hand to write a foreign language on the wall. Having heard of Daniel, Belteshazzar called for him and asked for an explanation. Daniel said that because of the king's sin, the kingdom would be given away. Of coarse the prophecy came to pass soon after. After all, Daniel had a knack from God for telling the future.